Joker's demise
by daughteralucard
Summary: The wildest day in Gotham City!


Okay so I was reading a lot of the stories here and I noticed that you guys like comedy but not random comedy. So to stick to you I wrote this. If you like it review, I love reviews. And for the record, that whole joker was taking about in the movie about chaos, and stuff, I said that first damnit! That just goes to show you that the joker had to be smoking some weed before he went to visit Harvey Dent because I was doin 'zactly the same thing! Anyway I'm all nice and toasted and I'm gonna write out the most random story Batman has ever seen!

And now for the disclaimer!

Yea, I'm poor as hell, what ya gonna do bout it though ay?

Chapter 1

The Joker sat in his hide out twirling his thumbs when suddenly the door came bursting open! He jumped up in shock and hid under the table in fear. "THE WAR IS HERE! POSSITIONS EVERYONE! THE END IS NEAR JUST LIKE I SAID!"

"Mr. J," said Harley happily dressed up like ivy and ivy dressed up like harley.

"Harley? Ivy?"

"Hey," said Ivy, "what are you doing and what is this about the end of the world?"

"Mr. J thinks that bunny's will get elected into the white house and they will bring about the end of the world,' said Harley.

"Why are you guys dressed like each other," he asked getting off the floor.

"Because, we were in this car chase right? We were zooming down the road shooting at people and we found a burger king and saw panguene there. He said something about the Big Mac not being on themenue and how Burger King was a disgrace to the fast food industry and something about going to Chick File for for a Wopper and something about killing stuff. Anyway I ordered a fish file and an apple pie. So we went back to Ivy's place and we decided to watch tv and guess what was on?! It was Goofy! That dog makes me laugh so hard."

"Harley, what does that have to do with why you are dressed like Ivy?"

"Absolutely nothing," smiled Harley.

Suddenly the door bust open and Joker just looked annoyed at this point. He turned to face who dared come storming into his lair when he saw the cute white bunny sitting in the door munching on a carret. Joker squealed in fear and jumped under the table once again.

"Oh," said Ivy, "this is Fish. He is running for president you know. He has most of the voters so far."

………………………..

The pet shop keeper walked to the shop and saw that everything was ransacked but nothing was stole, except for his bunny. The shop owner walked over to the pet cage and fell to his knees. He looked at his hands and up at the sky spreading his arms to the heavens.

"WHY!!!!!!!! DAM YOUS MONEKYS DAM YOUS!!!!"  
………………………

Bruce turned on the news to see the top story. Maybe he could find something outside of work to do. He hated work. The top story was a stolen bunny from the Gotham City Pet Shop! Bruce jumped out of his seat in shock, who would be so devious, so evil, so sadistic? The Joker! That's who! Only a sick twisted fuck like him would steal a bunny! Bruce left work in a hurry and went home. He rushed into his great mansion. Actually it was just a cardboard cut out of a house.

He really just owned a shabby little shack in the woods but didn't want people to know that he couldn't really afford a real house so spent millions of dollars on an elaborate mansion cutout. He smiled at the memory, he was so brilliant.

He ran into the 'mansion' and into his tiny ass basement that held, his suit, his computers, and his kick ass batmobile. Alfred was stading there waiting for him.

"You saw the news Jeeves," asked Bruce after suiting up to batman

"Yes master and for the hundredth time my name is not Jeeves it is Alfred."

"Yea, Alfred, what did I say? Anyhoo, did you see the news?"

"Yes, yes I saw the news, you already asked me that!"

"Well you don't need to get sassy with me, I was just asking a question. Man Jeeves, you act like the whole world is against you!" Alfred just sighed and rubbed his temples. Bruce was so retarded.

Batman jumped in the car and set his coordinates. "Taking the mobile," asked Alfred.

"It's pronounced mo-beel, not mo-bile! Man you need to work on ya English. You suck worse then that time Rachel almost caught me watching Gilmore Girls." He rushed out of the basement so fast that the car crashed into the wall and out side. How did it do that you ask? Well, I don't know, that's how cool batman thinks he is.

……………………………..

"Harley, take the bunny back," said the Joker now standing on a lamp in fear.

"No," she said.

"No?"

"Yea, no."

"Why not," he snapped looking down at the fearful creature who was rubbing his face with his feet in such a cute way it heart warming.

"Because I'm Harley Quinn. I can do awesome stuff like that!"

"Well you don't look like Harley Quinn. You look like a blond Catherin Zelawigger dressed up like Ivy!"

"Yea, cause I can look awesome like that."

"I think she is kinda ugly," said Ivy.

"Well you look like Julia Roberts on crank! SNAP," said Joker now laughing. "Bitch be gone! Jokerponed." Ivy and Harley just looked at him. "What, I can do it to!"

The left wall was blown in. Debrie and death flying through the air. Children on tiny little wheelchairs falling out of the sky, a lake of blood. THE CARNAGE!

Everyone's head turned toward the intruder of death and saw the batmobile. "Hey," whispered Harley to the Joker, "who do you think it is."

"I think it's that looser butler Jeeves trying to be Batman again."

"It's Alfred," shouted Alfred off the set.

"Whoever they are they're dead," said Ivy pulling out a seed bag. Batman jumped out of the car with his cape flying through the air.

"It's over Joker," he said. He took a step forward but his foot slipped and he fell of the top of the car and face first on the ground. Everyone silently looked at him except for Ivy who was now planting the seeds. The other two watched in confusion as batman tried to pull himself up holding onto a book shelf. He caught his balance but slipped on his cape falling back again. He tried to use his car to hold him up but it was slippery from all the blood because of his grand entrance and he ended up having his feet slip all over the blood stained floor. He got up and advanced on the villains but then tripped on a kid in her wheel chair crying in pain.

Joker and Harley watched and Ivy, who stood up, now watched him as well.

"Jeeves, get over here and help me up man."

"Go to hell," yelled Alfred. They all watched off the set and Alfred stormed out of the filming room and slammed the door behind him.

Batman finally got himself up and walked forward once again.

Harley and Joker exchanged looks then walked out of the house.

"WAIT UP," yelled batman. He ran after them but their slow waking was just to fast for his cool slow motion scene and he ended up running into the door and falling to the floor. He was on the verge of darkness. His last thought before he lost consciousness 'they are good, really good.'

…………………………………

GASP! LIONS AND TIGARS AND BUNNYS OH MY!

Next time:

Batman sat in the jail cell looking at the joker who laughed at him.

Harley cuddled the bunny

Fish is elected President

Ivy wins a free trip to Hawaii.

A chapter filled with non of the above scenes! It is promised to be random, stupid, and all around ridiculous!


End file.
